“What Do I Bring To Our Relationship?”
Have you ever sat down and asked yourself, “What do I bring to our relationship?” Is that a fair question to ask yourself? Any time we feel the need to evaluate ourselves or our relationships it’s a good time to start by looking in the mirror. “Why me?” you may ask; because we are in control of ourselves. We are the one part of the relationship that we have total control over. Many times over the years as our relationship grows stronger and more stable, we will hit bumps and they may shake things up. That’s okay; how we handle the bump and process that information is important for the next time we experience a bump.
So, let’s make a list of areas that you contribute to the relationship:
Companionship / Friendship; Yes or No– Do I feel I’m a good companion to my opposite?
Stability / Balance; Yes or No– Do I balance the relationship? Or do I create imbalance?
Financial responsibility– Do I share in them or create them? Yes or No
Romance / love life– The romance we share– Do I create it or hinder it? Yes or No`
How do I help shape the future of our relationship?
Are these important questions? To some yes; to everyone, maybe not. But we do need to at least consider how these things come into play in the inter-workings of our relationships. Most couples start on some level of friendship and it is that friendship that grows into a closer feeling of love, where soon we feel we can’t be without this person and we have fallen in love. The journey is simple; I want to spend as much time with this person as I can for the rest of my life. So we go about building our lives and lifestyle as we normally would. But when does the friendship subside, lose focus or go away? Are we so committed to making the big career moves that we forget our loving partner? We let the stresses of work get in the way of our relationships, and we forget that our spouses want to help us share the weight. I will confess I believe I’ve unwittingly done this a few times. Trying to “handle things on my own”, I have put distant between myself and the best friend I could ever have.
Do I bring balance to our relationship? I feel I do. She often says that I am the anchor that keeps her grounded. Not that she’s flighty, but she does reach for the stars and I won’t stop her—I just have to keep her earthbound as she reaches. I know at times I upset things when I am stressed; I do things I normally wouldn’t do, or react oddly. Working together, we are a great team and that’s what balances us. That is our power. We work as a team and go forward through our challenges together and solve them and celebrate them together.
Take the time to evaluate your relationship, together and separately. Find out if you’re on the same page or even in the same neighborhood. If you’re not, it’s okay. You can change course or at least adjust to get back on what you agree is the course. But find out now instead of later where you and your special person are going. There’s nothing worse than getting half way to the top and finding out you’re on the wrong mountain.
