Archive for July, 2009
The most romantic vacation ever
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Romantic Getaways
The most romantic vacation ever.
What made it so romantic? The time you dedicated to each other. Where did you go?
Vacations are a time to get away from our usual routines, our sometimes stressful jobs and those little chores around the house that take up so much of our time. Some couples choose a place where they can be alone and give romance a chance to bloom while others see a romantic getaway is a celebration such as taking in Mardi Gras or sharing a river rafting adventure.
It’s very rewarding to dedicate a certain amount of time to be together free from distractions and worries. Being alone together is a wonderful combination. Maybe what made your romantic getaway so enjoyable was simply getting away from your kids for a few days. Perhaps you decided to go somewhere where there were no TVs, computers, cell phones or alarm clocks—an out of the way spot where you just have each other. Read More→
When There Has Been Infidelity
Posted by: | CommentsIf you found the title of this entry interesting, there is a good chance that is because your partner has been unfaithful. Many have spent their entire relationship saying “If that ever happens, I’m out of here!” When confronted with the reality of it, however, it is not always so cut and dry.
Don’t feel like you are letting yourself down if you decide to try and work it out. You have invested a lot of time and emotion into the relationship, and if you still love your partner, there is nothing wrong with trying to make it work. When the wound is fresh, it may seem impossible that things could ever feel right again, but be encouraged. There are plenty of marriages that have only become stronger after working through the aftermath of an affair.
Choosing to stay takes courage, strength and commitment, but this all comes with a caveat: He must be sorry for his indiscretion and be willing to work hard at making things right. If he is not, then it is likely you will be wasting your time by staying. That isn’t said lightly, but if your partner is not as dedicated to working things out as you are, then there is a good chance the relationship is over.
If you are both committed to making it work, here are some things to keep in mind. These tips are geared toward the person who has been cheated on, as you also have a responsibility to work at the relationship even though you are not the one who strayed.
Don’t say that!
Posted by: | CommentsDon’t say that!
The words that fly out of the mouths of some people during arguments with their partner can be hurtful and can lead to long lasting damage in the relationship. Serious relationships are reserved for adults. We all know that children cannot handle the strong emotions that go along with being in a relationship, but neither can immature adults.
There are couples that throw threats of divorce around like they are saying they don’t feel like making dinner. They treat the words that come out of their mouths far too lightly. They find the words that will cut their partners as deeply as possible, bringing up insecurities, insulting their families and even saying that they hate them.
Immature people think that the harm of such words can be simply fixed by saying “I’m sorry” once they are no longer angry. This is not always the case. In many cases, especially when harsh words are spoken over time, the damage can be irreparable and the relationship will never be what it could have been had those cruel words not been spoken.
If you don’t mean it, then don’t say it.
Saying, “I hate you”, “I want a divorce” “I never should have married you” and other such things are often words that are spoken for no other reason than to inflict pain on someone’s partner. If you say such things, you really need to take a good look in the mirror and realize that you have serious growing up to do.
There is NOTHING that is ok about spewing such venom to the one you are supposed to love. It doesn’t matter if you both do it. It doesn’t matter who started it. Someone has to stop it, or there is no way that the relationship can last.
Going back later and saying “I didn’t mean it. You know I love you” does little to erase the pain caused by the words that were spoken in anger.
Be careful about the words you say ESPECIALLY when you are angry. Anger is not an excuse to say hateful things.
Do Unto Others
We all know we’re supposed to treat others the way that we want to be treated. Why does it seem that some people think this does not apply to their partner? It should apply even more to the one you love! If you are having a bad day at work, it’s unlikely that you scream at your boss or co-workers. If you are overwhelmed at work, do you scream “I QUIT”, before storming out the room? If you did, do you think you could just come back later and tell your boss “I’m sorry…I was just angry”? No, of course not.
Why then do you think that it is ok to treat your partner with such disregard? You are able to control your emotions and your tongue when dealing with all of the other people in your life. Give you partner the same respect. In fact, give your partner even more respect than you give the rest of the world.
You wouldn’t want your partner to hit below the belt every time he or she got angry. Don’t do it to them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can use your partner as a verbal punching bag without consequences. If you love your partner, show them by learning to control your tongue.
Yes, It’s true! Men and Women are different
Posted by: | CommentsYes, it’s True! Men and Women are Different.
Everyone knows that men and women different, right? Why then do people act as if they are surprised when their partner does not think, act or feel in the same way that they do?
Many fights could be avoided if both and women acknowledged, and expected, that the two sexes are going to react differently to situations.
For example, a woman has something that she feels the need to vent about, so she turns to her partner. Instead of listening intently and validating her feelings, the man keeps interrupting and offering solutions to the problem.
The woman just wants to vent and be validated, but most men won’t understand that. Men are problem solvers. To them, the point of talking about an issue is to try and formulate a solution. For women the point of talking is, as mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph, very different.
Another prime example of the difference between men and women is sex. To most women, there is a great deal of emotion attached to it. For men, it is more about the physical. That’s not say that men have no emotions when it comes to sex or that women do not enjoy the physical aspects of it. But men and women do, in general, view that part of their relationships differently.
Instead of trying to fight against these differences, why not learn about them so that you will be in a better position to understand each other and offer support in a way that is most helpful to your partner.
Many spouses get into arguments because the wife feels that the husband is not opening up to her enough, or the man feels that his wife doesn’t appreciate how hard he works and doesn’t respect him. If we took the time to understand how the opposite sex feels, we would know how important it is for a man to feel respected and appreciated. We would know how important it is for a woman to feel loved, protected and validated.
Neither is right or wrong. It is ok to be different. Partners need to learn to accept each other with all of the flaws and differences.
Stop trying to pretend that there are no differences between men and women. Stop trying to change the mindset of your partner to be something that it is not. Instead, embrace the differences. Learn from each other, and watch your relationship bloom into something beautiful.
Love at first sight
Posted by: | CommentsLove at first sight. Do you believe in it? Is it a physical attraction or something more?
Whether or not you believe in love at first sight often depends on the type of person you are. Are you a romantic soul who can be easily swept away or a cautious, practical person who doesn’t trust first impressions?
There have been a number of scientific studies on this subject. Some have taken it to the point of noting the changes in our brain chemistry as we are falling for someone. This is a bit silly and a waste of time perhaps, but most agree there is a certain chemistry that happens when two people meet.
There are those of course that say the attraction is more lust than love. Or that our desire to fall in love is so strong, we create the fantasy in our minds to the point it is indistinguishable from reality. It’s important for each of us to ask ourselves, “Am I falling in love with this person or just with the idea of being in love?”
