Responsibilities of a Bridesmaid
Being a bridesmaid, and don’t forget the Ring Bearer
Everyone knows that being tapped to be in the bridal party is a big honor, but not everyone knows what a commitment it is.
There are also the factors of where it is children or adults in the bridal party, that’s a whole other factor. Keeping kids and not offending parents of children that may not be in the party can be a sensetive issue. After all you cannot include everyone, especially if it is a large family.
Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, time-consuming and, oh, yeah, fun! If your lifelong gal pal asks you to step up as a bridesmaid — maybe even as the maid of honor — your first inclination will naturally be to say yes. But before you do, make sure you’re aware of everything that’s now included in your responsibilities.
- Help find bridesmaids dresses, shoes and accessories and pay for your entire outfit. You might also be required to tag along for wedding dress shopping and helping the bride make up her mind in that arena, too.
- Plan and help pay for the bridal show and bachelorette party with the other bridesmaids. Don’t forget to have fun there, too!
- Go to as many prewedding parties as possible – engagement, showers, ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. If there are multiple events, and your schedule doesn’t allow you to attend each and every one of them, you can skip one or two – but the rehearsal is nonnegotiable.
- Act as a partial host at the reception by saying hello to guests, pointing them in the right direction to the bar and gift tables and making sure they sign the guest book.
- Pitch it to buy a wedding present for the couple (despite the amount of money you’ve spent on everything else during the engagement).
- Provide emotional support for the bride, even if she turns into bridezilla. Let’s face it, most brides do. It’s a stressful time in a gal’s life, but a good friend and bridesmaid keeps calm and stays supportive, even if you hate the bridesmaid dress with a passion.
- Assist the maid of honor with any tasks that she might need help with, including fixing the bride’s train or holding bouquets.
- Get the party started! The bridal party should be the first ones on the dance floor when the DJ begins the music, and should encourage other guests to get their groove on as well. So what’s a bridesmaid supposed to do if she lives across the country or can’t financially pull it all off? There are two options:
1) Discuss the situation with the bride and make sure she’s aware of your limitations. A bride stationed in Los Angeles might not have realized that a bridesmaid in Baltimore won’t be able to attend all functions or show up for spontaneous dress-shopping trips. When she does realize it, she’ll either let you off the hook or promise not to give you a guilt trip for not giving 110 percent as a bridesmaid.
2) Politely decline by saying that you’re so very honored for the offer, but at this point, it’s just not feasible for you. Make sure she knows that you still want to be kept in the wedding-planning loop and you’ll definitely be there with your party hat on when the wedding actually comes. She might be a little hurt, but as long as you both know it has nothing to do with the strength of your friendship, you’ll get past it.
