Get Real and Stop Running After the Relationship Myth
March 4, 2010
Get Real and Stop Running After the Relationship Myth
Relationship just does not have one stage. There are many beginning from a crush or infatuation to a mature relationship that involves understanding friendship and a something that is deeper and more secure which is termed as mature love.
When you meet for the first time it is attraction and emotions that completely take over. You are completely involved in an excitement that sways you off your feet. The initial attraction completely takes over and you can’t see sense. You wait endlessly for this person. You call each other many times in a day and every word spoken by that special person has a lot of meaning. You feel as if there is some magic in the other person. You want to spend every breathing minute with that person. You adore everything they say or do and you always wait eagerly for the minute you will meet that person and time seems to fly when that person is around. You find everything they say or do interesting and exciting and you are ready to tolerate everything they do. When you make love it is full of magic and you just don’t want to hold back. You are confident that this person is your soul mate. You are head over heels in love. This is just the beginning of love, but when things get real you will want more from this relationship. Life is all about mundane chores, adjustments and getting on with life. You would like to develop this relationship into something that is deeper and mature something that sustains through life.
It is important that you think about love in realistic terms and not this initial heady crush where everything is rosy. When love becomes mature and where the bond is very strong then the initial infatuation will definitely go. The attraction and spark will remain but it is not going to last forever. The heady intensity can’t be sustained always. Don’t think that just because the initial wild passion is no longer there then your love is over and you don’t love each other any more. If you think like this you will assume that you should now start looking for something new in your life. You may try to recreate the emotional high once again with somebody else. It is time you stop chasing love as it exists in romantic novels and try real love, which is more fulfilling.
Once you get to know your partner try becoming their friend. Friendship is the most solid foundation of love. Remember once the initial magic wears off mature relationship is what you have to build. Being a good friend is necessary when the differences between the relationship starts to show up. You may not agree on anything. You shouldn’t even expect that you will agree on everything. You are two completely different individuals and both are entitled to their view points on everything. If you are friends then you won’t try to change each other rather you will accept each others differences.
Become a good friend of your partner and treat them as you would treat a good friend. When you have arguments with your friends you have fights and then you let go but do the same with your spouse.
Dating – How to get to Know Each Other
February 22, 2010
Dating
If we were to believe the movies, dating is either a cinch—the person of your dreams walks in, you’re instantly intrigued, you flirt expertly while the steam and the background music rise, and you’re off to a beautiful, romantic, sexy beginning—or a disaster, as in the Mr. Goodbar girl-meets-killer or Fatal Attraction boy-meets-lunatic scenarios.
Real-life dating actually falls in the enormous middle ground between these two fantasies. It’s not a snap, it takes some work, but, with some inside information, it can be done right, and it can lead to lots of fun times and dating success. What makes the difference, is understanding what the potential problems of dating are, and knowing the skills to overcome, accept or reject those problems tactfully when they arise, and they will when you meet a new person.
All of the What If’s?
If you were a movie character, you’d be sure of yourself, clear on what you want, beautifully turned out, and ready to go. But, you’re you—a human being, with some confusion, some doubts, and some insecurity, like all the rest of us. Read more
Love and Life is Such a rollacoaster
February 22, 2010
As my life goes on my emotions change from day to day, one day being in a relationship feels so right and then next I long for the freedom to go and do whatever I want.
To travel to India and live in total bliss or fly off with Dr’s without Borders and do something to help those I see suffer and in need.
Now having a grown independent son and lost my youngest, I feel my life is torn more than ever. I have a husband that loves and lives for me, which to some is wonderful but is a great responsibility to know someone depends on you so much, four dogs I adore and family I am very close to but yet I feel that time is passing and I must start doing something or I shall be left behind.
How many of us run this rollacoaster, from living the responsible and caring life to the one longing for freedom. How much are we to give in to. I am not suggesting we leave our families, but we need to find ways to fill the needs we have, even in a smallest way until the time is ours to take the bigger leaps.
Where would you be, what would you be doing if time was on your side or when you do have the time?
I urge you to at least look at your life and come up with a plan, if you want to learn to dance for one day you will Tango in Argentina, take lessons now, if you want to become a photographer to pay your way for travel begin now.
Because if we do not practice what we want for the future, we will not suddenly begin doing what we want in the future.
I ask you to create a list of 20 things you will work towards and take steps to enroll in those classes with or without your partner, you never know where life will take you or what curve balls life will throw, so live.
Begin now, I have started my list to share, there maybe a few ideas, some may be dreams, but dreams must start somewhere.
Meditate in India, live in Mexico for 6 months, learn to speak Spanish, take dancing lessons, travel alone to Greece, Spain and Portugal. Teach English in an orphanage, learn to scuba dive, ride a horse across the ocean.
To sing, the scariest thing on my list; and yet the on I must do the most, so let me tell you it maybe not easy but there are some things we must do to feel alive.
The rollacoaster will keep coming at you but be ready to take at east some for a ride.
Honeymoon Planning Tips
February 22, 2010
Planning The Dream Honeymoon, shall it be tropical, A Cruise or a Romantic get a Way for Two
A honeymoon is the romantic beginning of a new marriage– a second honeymoon energizes an existing marriage. Some couples take a second honeymoon after a marriage vow renewal ceremony. With thoughtful planning, you and your partner will enjoy a special outing that will provide the right mix of what you both find romantic..whether it be relaxation, fun, adventure, fine dining, or dancing etc.
Here are some planning tips:
- Book before or after peak seasons, unless you don’t mind crowds.
- Plan and book well in advance ( booking might be last minute if you decide to save money this way, but you can still look at destinations and activities in advance).
- Choose a reasonable budget that will not weigh you down in the future. Read more
Save My Marriage, Making Love last, Stop the Divorce, Getting my Girlfriend Back
February 6, 2010
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