Do You Love You ?

 I am truly amazed at how many times I hear people say “why would I need to love myself?” In the world of interpersonal relationships there are many levels and layers to search through, but the easiest to overlook are the ones closest to us—our selves.

 
In business and in personal relationships we have to know our own personal strengths and weaknesses.  So how does one “love thyself?”  By taking the time to look inside ourselves and evaluate how we like to be treated and how we respond to situations that occur all around us on a daily basis.  Turn to the basics we should have learned as children—treat others with respect, to make friends be a friend, when someone is sad offer a helping hand or lend an open ear.

Don’t be selfish, mean or arrogant in this process.  No one wants your pity, but having empathy for someone is totally different. If you’ve ever “been there, done that” then you have a firm understanding of what someone else has gone through.  If you are one who enjoys giving advice, be prepared to take advice as well.
Likewise, when we become involved in a personal relationship we have to share information with others in order to learn who they are; In exchange, they learn about us.  There’s a level of trust that has to be created.  Some people are not comfortable with this exchange and offer only tidbits of information. Some will slant the truth to make themselves appear different than they truly are for fear that they may otherwise appear weak or in some way unattractive. This is the biggest clue or key to looking inside yourself: How do you FEEL about you?  How do you FEEL when people ask things of you or about you? Do you FEEL the need to deceive or slant the truth when confronted with uncomfortable situations?
Loving thy self is a journey inside you, how you want to be treated and how you treat others.  It sounds simple, but it is the scariest journey you may have to take. No one else can do this.  So what tools do you need for the trip?  Well, I like to use pen and paper. I like to write down my feelings. It’s very therapeutic to get the noise out of my head and be able to see the things written down; then I can address each one individually.  Start a journal of daily thoughts and things that perhaps irk or intrigue you.
The biggest key is to be honest with yourself. When you start being honest with yourself it becomes easier to be honest with others, which is a great thing. Then you have nothing to hide.  Trust, Honor, Integrity. These are the things you want to bring to any relationship, and when you have those—by knowing your true self—you can get on to the business of successfully loving others.

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