How to Write the Best Weddings Vows Ever

Have you ever had to write a best man speech for wedding or wedding vows for your bride?

You pick up the pen to start writing the perfect speech, you find your note pad, you are ready to start writing the dream wedding speech words and you go…well blank!

This has happened to all us us at one time or another; we go blank when we need to find the perfect words, there is a mental block; do we write a funny speech, a romantic speech, fund a witty speech style, what will my bride want, so after a pile of paper in the waste basket we give up. The days go by, the wedding day is getting closer and you can feel the stress of writing the vows, and now you have to find the perfect words fast, because you know, mess up the speech words and you ae going to be in the dog house.

But no worries help is here for your speech and vows, here to the speech rescue are some fantastic speech ideas, for the bride with a sense of humour, there are the funniest speeches ever, she is the bride who loves humourous wedding vows, funny and witty best man speeches, and for guests to stand up and tell funny wedding stories. The romantic bride wants the traditional wedding vows romantic words written to perfection, she is the bride that wants the father of the bride speech to make her cry, mother of the bride speech, a traditional classic best man speech and a maid of honor speech filled with memories of friendship and fun times together.

So before you get started, talk to your fiancée to make sure you’re both on the same page. While having comical wedding vows isn’t a bad thing, it’s appropriate to make sure that your fiancée doesn’t mind, it is a day to remember and even the funniest of brides may want to change the tone and have a heartfelt wedding vow for the special day. You also want to verify that the venue in which you’re getting married allows personalized vows, some places of worship require the traditional phrasing to be used, such as traditional Catholic vows, Jewish vows or maybe a Christian speech or other traditional cultural wedding vows. You may decide to write your vows as a couple, so they will be complimentary vows or a couple’s speech and then followed by traditional best man speech.

No matter what style of speech you choose, a little help from a wedding speech vow book would give you a great beginning to the perfect vows. Share the book with the groomsman for speech help, the bride or grooms mother’s speech or a to share with the friends wedding speeches.

So sit down with your best speeches ever books, browse the choices of speeches to choose the style of wedding vows to suit your style and begin writing away.

Now the wedding wording will be a breeze, and you’ll become an expert speech writer.
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Have a wonderful wedding day and enjoy the amazing speech you will have written personally…Our little secret.

How Do You Tell Your Partner About Your Sexual Abuse History

How To Talk to Your Partner About a Your Sexual Abuse History

Talking about sex is never easy but talking about your sexual past can put a relationship to the ultimate test, especially when you want to share something as difficult as sexual abuse.

However, it is an essential part of a new relationship; you need to share something as important as the sexual abuse you suffered as you may still be dealing with triggers and emotional as a result of what was done to you. First of all, is this a relationship you want to invest in? Do you trust this person enough to open up to? And if the answer is no, maybe this is something for you to evaluate before you stay in this partnership. If the answer is yes then move forward. 

If your new partner is a person you want to be with, then he or she will want to hear what you have to say and what will affect the relationship in many ways. It is an important step to protect your emotions and to share with your partner about a very influential part of your life. A few steps can help you talk about a sexual abuse history in a relationship.

Tell your partner you want to share something important with them and find a quiet time and place to be able to sit and talk to them. Be honest about your past, your feelings and how the abuse affected you and where you stand now with your history of abuse.

Share what triggers you have, if you still have any and how your partner can support you. Also know that your partner may be uncomfortable with what they are hearing, it is painful for others to hear and can even invoke anger as they come to know how you have been hurt. You may even get a response where your partner is also a survivor of abuse; with the statistics as high as they are it is quite a possible response to opening a conversation about sexual abuse. This can be several responses and any response can be normal.

Ask your partner how they feel when you share information of your past and allow your partner to ask questions. Explain you are telling them because you them about the history of sexual abuse in order for your partner to understand more about you and your thoughts, reactions about the sexual abuse.

When you allow your partner to ask questions you help your partner feel included create an atmosphere of trust in the relationship.

Remember that you were not at fault and you can make the conversation as short or as in depth as you want to or are comfortable with.

Give your partner some time to digest what they have heard and leave the door open for them to ask more questions or to share how they feel after what they you have shared with them. Often a partner may feel you are fragile and not sure how to approach sexual matters with them, help them understand what is acceptable to you and if there is anything that is not. If any relationship is  to survive honesty is essential so you may as well share sooner than late, then you can work through the relationship together.

  Would You Marry Him Again?

As we sat over tea, I asked my Grandmother would you marry him again? I think I was reflecting on my own marriage and the thoughts just came blurting out of my mouth before I could catch them.

After a short pause, I am not sure she said. You know when I was young it was something that was expected, I didn’t have the choices that you young people have today.

I love him, but there was no love at first sight, it was a grow on you type of relationship which came with a lot of obligations, not so much our choice but for the expectation of the family, you know.

I was pregnant, and we either did the “right thing” or I would have to go away and live in the country and have an excuse for my missing husband when I came back.

But he has been a good man, he cared for me looked after the family, is a wonderful father, strong values and many qualities that you would look for if you had to do it all over again. We have our differences, but he loves to dance with me, not many men dance now, that is something I would miss.He is a snappy dresser and has never had the wandering eye. He buys me treats and surprises me with little things. One day I came home to find a bubble bath run, and a new nightie, and some lovely skin lotion laid out on the bed. I loved it. I think he loves me more than I love him sometimes. I don’t think I have ever thought of this question before, There are so many things I have taken for granted, we fell into life continued on and never stopped to think .I don’t think I have appreciated him as much as I could have.

He’s always wanted to travel but I have made so many excuses, and now we are not getting any younger, so now it is time to look at that and start doing something that he would want. Thank you for asking me that question my beautiful granddaughter, you made me think and look at love in a different way. It is not the swirl and romance and the sweep you off your feet, it is the growing old together with someone you can count on, with someone who treats you with respect and thinks of the little things in life that are thoughtful and mean something to you.

Now all is said and done I would marry him again, I love him, I really love him and I need to show him and I am I not sure I have ever told him. I am going to plan a surprise vacation for him and who knows I may even plan a small second wedding ceremony, just for us and not for anyone else, the way we would like to do things now; a little less fussier and maybe on the beach, sand between our toes and a few of those strawberry marguerites those young people drink these days.

Get Real and Stop Running After the Relationship Myth

Relationship just does not have one stage. There are many beginning from a crush or infatuation to a mature relationship that involves understanding friendship and a something that is deeper and more secure which is termed as mature love.

When you meet for the first time it is attraction and emotions that completely take over. You are completely involved in an excitement that sways you off your feet. The initial attraction completely takes over and you can’t see sense. You wait endlessly for this person. You call each other many times in a day and every word spoken by that special person has a lot of meaning. You feel as if there is some magic in the other person. You want to spend every breathing minute with that person. You adore everything they say or do and you always wait eagerly for the minute you will meet that person and time seems to fly when that person is around. You find everything they say or do interesting and exciting and you are ready to tolerate everything they do. When you make love it is full of magic and you just don’t want to hold back. You are confident that this person is your soul mate. You are head over heels in love. This is just the beginning of love, but when things get real you will want more from this relationship. Life is all about mundane chores, adjustments and getting on with life. You would like to develop this relationship into something that is deeper and mature something that sustains through life.It is important that you think about love in realistic terms and not this initial heady crush where everything is rosy. When love becomes mature and where the bond is very strong then the initial infatuation will definitely go. The attraction and spark will remain but it is not going to last forever. The heady intensity can’t be sustained always. Don’t think that just because the initial wild passion is no longer there then your love is over and you don’t love each other any more. If you think like this you will assume that you should now start looking for something new in your life. You may try to recreate the emotional high once again with somebody else. It is time you stop chasing love as it exists in romantic novels and try real love, which is more fulfilling.

Once you get to know your partner try becoming their friend. Friendship is the most solid foundation of love. Remember once the initial magic wears off mature relationship is what you have to build. Being a good friend is necessary when the differences between the relationship starts to show up. You may not agree on anything. You shouldn’t even expect that you will agree on everything. You are two completely different individuals and both are entitled to their view points on everything. If you are friends then you won’t try to change each other rather you will accept each others differences.

Become a good friend of your partner and treat them as you would treat a good friend. When you have arguments with your friends you have fights and then you let go but do the same with your spouse.

Healing Your Marriage after an Affair

By Ateidi

Have you recently discovered that your spouse is a cheat? Has it left you totally shocked? Do you start doubting yourself and wonder if your marriage can survive that affair? Many marriages  have survived  affairs and often it has been found that the marriage was better after it. While you may be hurt and may blame your spouse for cheating on you, it may show that all was not right with your relationship. There was something that was missing in the relationship that caused him to stray, not that was the correct way to show it, but as a lack of communication was drawn toward what he thought would fill the void.One thing that could be the silver lining to the otherwise thick cloud will be the fact that you and your spouse will be able to identify  the problems or factosr that lead to the infidelity. You will be able to identify the weak points and the strength in your marriage and what brought tou back together if that is the chosen case.

An affair is a shock and devastating for either partner but it is also an opportunity to examine your relationship. this will give an opportunity to look at this was a failing marriage for sometime and no one wanted to admit it or it will show there is still love after all you have been through. Once you have given time to vent  the hurt and anger then it is time to communicate and find out what happened and why and now what needs to be done to grow from this experience. 

Communication will have to be done with tact and on a fair playing field. a counsellor may need to be brought in and marriage classes can also work well for some.  The relationship won’t get any better if you avoid talking to or seeing each other, avoidance or apathy may have contributed to the breakdown in the forst place. You have to discuss the issues that caused the affair. A heart to heart talk will not just help you look at the problems but will also help you melt the wall of hurt and resentment coupled with fear that you have built around yourself. Even if you decide you cannot stay together the hope is that you will be able to communicate in the future, especially if you have children.

You will need to practice active listening, at times it will be difficult to hold back from venting all your anger and hurt by listening patiently and carefully. Allow your spouse to talk and explain to you why he/she had an affair. When you listen carefully you will also be able to identify the main problem areas of your marriage. Equal opportunity must be shared to sort out what is going on.

If you decide that you are going to make this marriage work, there must be an agreement not to throw the past experience at the person every time there is an argument, you have to look at other factors, has this happened before? Is this person spending time on the Internet chatting to others in an inappropriate manner, in other words, what is considered an online affair, or are there deeper issues, is this person a sex addict, which is a very serious problem and much larger than most people are aware of. So dig deep there are many factors that can be a possibility to be addressed.

If this is a one off situation and you are willing to try again, take baby steps, make the effort to go on date nights, do the things together that were missing form the relationship. Sex may be difficult for a while until the trust is rebuilt and that is ok, it has to be when you are ready, it is unlikely things will return exactly where they were. They may not be able to be repaired or things may be better than ever with a new appreciation for the partners and a new love and appreciation to grow. I have heard from many people that people have had much stronger and better marriages after an affair as there is more honesty and awareness from both parties. But be prepared for change either way, hopefully for the better. here is often much at stake and you have to decide what is worth it, so be honest with yourself. If you do not think you can recover form this honestly after time, then don;t stay to suit others or to save face and embarrassment. You only have one life to live that we know of and you deserve the best.

Making Love After Having A Baby

Honesty is no doubt an integral part of living a fulfilled, accomplished and moral life.  The concepts behind honesty are one of the first things that children are taught and honesty is encouraged in just about every venue of life.  Thomas Jefferson said “honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”  The trouble with honesty is that in raw form it is a search for the truth; and the truth is different for every living person. 

When it comes to being honest with you spouse certainly it is an important part of marriage.  But there is honesty in the moment and honest that wreaks from a lifetime of living.  The internal person within all of us has many secrets and undeniably many should not be shared – even with a spouse.  Life tells us that even as intricately as we know a person – there is no real knowing anyone wholly but the self!  Look how many stories about sinister ugliness that comes from people whose lives seemed full of integrity and honor.  It seems that honesty is okay and accepted as long as the truth that we tell is as well.  Being honest and the entire concept of honesty is bewildering at best. Let’s talk about your spouse.  Few spouses want to admit when their spouse annoys them to no end.  Few will say that they look ugly, or blurt out for the sake of honesty that they just don’t turn them on the way they used to.  Spouses don’t routinely share the innermost thoughts and desires that make up their daily mental chatter and few take the risk to answer questions honestly when they know their answer will hurt their loved one.  Perhaps in some light all of this can be looked at as lying.  There are white lies- the ones we tell to protect or save someone from something unnecessary and there are those lies that we tell others to protect ourselves from something we fear.  Honesty and being honest with others has a lot to do with being real with ourselves.  If we feel ashamed of our behavior or actions we lie…we lie to ourselves to make us feel better and we hide our wrong from the world.  Millions of couples do this with each other and millions of couples survive marriages where love exists but honesty is chosen with care. 

Being honest with your spouse is often about trust.  There has to be a certain level of trust that by opening our mouths to speak the truth, we won’t close our heart or feel judged, ridiculed or humiliated by our spouse in any way.  Since marriage enables us to understand and know our spouse a little better – we can often gauge their reaction before it happens.  If we know our spouse is going to react badly, disagree or it is going to cause an argument it may be wise to speak the truth elsewhere.  Of course marriage does call for us to be honest at most times; as it pertains to life’s responsibilities, our love for one another, commitment and long term goals.  No spouse wants to suddenly realize that the other has been hiding $40 worth of debt.  But in everyday life, honesty with our spouses may be over rated.  Honesty with our selves on the other hand is vital for a fulfilled life!

Many spouses ask questions that they don’t want to know the answer to anyways.  Does this make me look fat, do you think John’s wife is prettier than me, are you glad we got married, do you think it’s stupid that I go to the tanning bed, have you ever cheated on me, who is the best person in bed you have ever been with and a plethora of other stupid questions really don’t deserve honesty.  In cases like this honesty serves no purpose.  Other questions deserve honesty.  How was your day, do you like your boss, can I get a new car, do we have money in the bank, are all the bills paid etc. are all examples of questions that deserve being honest with your spouse. The ancient proverb “if you really want honesty, don’t ask the questions you really don’t want the answer to” applies fully. 

The difficulty in honesty is not just about being honest with other people. Humans are such a complex breed of thinkers that all the thoughts in our minds, feelings in our hearts are just not meant to be explained and spoken to anyone else.  Not even our spouse.  There is this preconceived notion that married couples spend countless hours talking and divulging their souls when in reality they spent countless hours figuring out how to be who they want to be and be a loving spouse without destroying either relationship.  Millions of wives don’t tell their husbands they went shopping 3 days in a row, just like millions of husbands forget to mention the beer they had after work with co-workers.  Would honesty make the relationship better or just throw more upon it to deal with?  Have either of these fallacies broken a vow or destroyed love or commitment.  Unequivocally no- but they may have saved an argument.  If a person in their own right can maintain their integrity by not telling the truth than perhaps there is no lie.  Marriage is not supposed to be an intrusion on our private moment or thoughts, rather a benefit to our often lone lives.  We are married to make each other happier, better somehow – not to become another persons master or parent.

Being honest with your spouse gets easier and easier over time.  In the beginning each partner has habits that drive the other crazy so they withhold the truth.  Not lying really!  Over time, when love persists and couples realize that they pretty much are going to be together forever; they begin to pay attention to their own lives again and do what they want anyway.  In a way- this turns us back into honest people because no one is hiding anymore or overly worrying about being judged or ridiculed.  Take me as I am, or don’t take me- either way I don’t care, seems to be the attitude.  At this stage in a relationship, honesty comes easy because stupid questions and bogus expectations cease and couples slump back into a position of just being married, happy and content. 

Dave Von Ronk coined honesty in it true form.  He said “Honesty is the cruelest game of all, because not only can you hurt someone – and hurt them to the bone, you can feel self righteous about it at the same time.”  In a marriage this will never work.  Being honest with your spouse in essence is part of a healthy marriage; however maintaining respect for feelings and differences is also important.  A marriage can survive through a web of irresponsible and silly white lies that in no way serve to tear apart the couple- but once the harsh truth is unleashed; the separation of hearts is expansive, irreversible  and growing each day.  Since truth changes often and is more likely in the eyes of the beholder- it may be good advice to sit on our eggs a while before hatching them.  Especially with our spouses.

Forgiveness in Love and Relationships

Marriage is intended to bring two people together; but there is no way to make two people happy or guarantee that is was the match made in heaven as it seemed at the time.   

 
Every marriage at one point or another is going to face turmoil.  Some situation, turn of events, harsh spoken words or actions will completely, knock one off their feet; leading to, anger, frustration and pain or any number of effects depending on the person.

It can be as monumental as infidelity or a little white lie or a pile of little white lies, and in order to get through it, – forgiveness is necessary, whatever the outcome you choose.Letting go of hurts or wrongs is never easy and can be one of the most difficult things we may have to face in our relationship but if we do not let go we are the ones that feel the pain, while the other person may not even be aware, and we are torturing ourselves as they think they are the victim now they have been caught.

In a marriage or partnership the hurts can add up to a whole lot of pain that we are holding and we are the ones carrying the weight until we cannot take anymore and explode and possibly going beyond repair. With so much at stake including our health it leaves you wondering what it is we are holding onto by not allowing ourselves to forgive. 

However, this is so easy to say; it depends on how we were raised, what were our examples, what did we see our parents put up with and what is our level of self worth?

 So the question then moves onto how in the world we forgive someone for hurting us, especially someone who took a vow to love us and respect us?  The first thing we do is go through the emotions of our pain, allow anger to turn to tears and wait a while for the tears to dry, then communicate our needs, wants and feelings to the person who hurt us.  We can scream, yell and do whatever we need to do to help relieve the pain Whether the decision is to stay or go it is time to seek help from friends, counselors, families, religion or the likes to support us through our time of need, Though often the embarrassment can be so difficult there is no hiding, so the sooner out the better.

 It is something we may need to learn; to learn to let go and take another position from how we have looked at things and learned in the past. We want to look at ourselves as the bigger and stronger person who can either let go gracefully or remove our self from the situation as it may seem.

This is never to be taken lightly, some will decide to stay in the relationship because there is so much at stake, there will be questions to be answered and considered Do I love this person, do they still love me, what about the children, how will I manage financially? then we worry about what others will think, but at the end of the day we need to make a decision that is best for us and sets the best example for the children we are raising; making these decisions when there are no set of rules, knowing that there are no guarantees and no two couples or set of circumstances the same.

If we decide to remove our self from the situation we will carry the pain if we don’t forgive, and we may begin to blame ourselves for any mistakes or part we think we have contributed to. And we will also carry the pain into other relationships and areas of our lives.

And if we stay and have not truly forgiven the other person we will make them suffer at any chance we can, which in turn will make us bitter and angry and eventually tear the relationship apart in the long run or lead to living a life of misery. And out of this, trust will never grow in other relationships and may seep into other parts of our lives and that is not fair to anyone.

Forgiveness is not excusing someone for hurting us or accepting behavior toward us when it was clearly wrong. Forgiveness is about the ability to see ourselves as more than a victim and realize that pain caused to or toward us has little to do with our inner being; but rather that of the person causing the harm.  Forgiveness is taking control of our emotions and deciding that we are the only ones who can heal ourselves. 

Then we take baby steps forward and realize that by letting go we are releasing ourselves from the pain and beginning to rediscover who we are again, usually a stronger and wiser person than before. The marriage may grow or fail, we never know, but one thing for sure is the person who forgives will be stronger than they ever imagined.  Forgiveness is never about the other person, it is always about us.

There is an old saying that reads ‘the best revenge is a life well lived…’ and it holds vibrantly true when it comes to forgiveness. Choosing to forgive is freedom, whatever the end result

How to Keep the Romance Alive and Become the Sex Goddess You Want to Be

This is about the most comprehensive what I thought was going to be a book, but turns out to be a fantastic package if purchased that way, the choice is yours. The author has been featured on Oprah and is a top selling author on making love and keeping the spark alive.feel free to click on the banner and check it out, and remember there is no obligation what so ever. Be curious!

For men and women alike one of the chief complaints in a marriage is boredom in the bedroom.  Perhaps in secret most married couples not only dread the idea of sex but have begun to fall into a routine of making love that is definitely not what it used to be. The truth is after a while we just wind down, get into old habits, spend time on the internet or other activities we used to do. We get tired, less interested or often one partner has more interest in sex than another. We all have different levels of sexual interest and all too often we do not discuss how we feel, which can lead to the other feeling rejected.

Most just end up wanting to sleep and untouched for once, as they know even a snuggle is going to lead to the dreaded sex that they are trying to avoid. After a while finding the energy for sex becomes unimportant and often over rated!  While it may be fun to look at it from a humorous point of view the truth is that boredom in the bedroom or lack of anything in the bedroom, can certainly take it’s toll on a couple!

It’s easy to become so complacent and get caught up in everyday life of kids, work, keeping a house and paying the bills. It’s no wonder our divorce rates are so high because everything else is on the to do list, except to make time for “us”

The other factor is women often don’t feel so attractive and feel that do not want to be seen in that light. Strange changes can occur, some men find their wives the sexiest ever while pregnant and after while others make it quite clear that they are nit attracted to them and avoid seeing their wife with the body they used to have.

By time we realize we haven’t made love to our spouse in a month or longer we are usually frustrated and irritated. We realize we have not even cuddled, kissed or said an “I love you” for the longest time. This is where you can either head for trouble or head for a quickie. So how do we feel more sexual again, what can we do to make us feel attractive to the other?

Maybe it’s time for some good books on making love, some romantic movies with a little steaminess or something more daring if you are up to it. But make sure it is something that works for both of you, lovemaking must be a safe place and bring you closer, not make you feel less comfortable with each other; this is a time for building trust and wanting more of each other and with some new moves and ideas great sex will return and as you go through different ages and stages of your life sex can get hotter than ever.

You’ll wonder who the heck what that sexy woman after you have tried some moves. Not only great for the relationship, but the mind, body and soul and self confidence…… Move Over Sex in the City!

Check out these fabulous books and DVD’s, after all you are worth it

 Honesty is Key to  Growing Marriage

Being In Love – What Are The Risks?

Is falling in love risky? Strange question you might say. Is it possible for people to avoid falling in love out of fear of being hurt if it breaks up? It is indeed a risk, but one that you have to take, otherwise you will spend your whole life alone. Life is full of risks. You have to face risky situations at every corner of life. Even when you get up from bed you may stumble and fall down. There is no risk free zone in life.Being in an abusive relationship is though an altogether different story. It is a risk that will never pay off. In fact it is like taking oil out of a dry well. If you ever fall in love with an abusive person who takes advantage of your faith and feels that your love for him/her is a weakness then it is a risk. You will always suffer in that relationship. It is better to end that relationship. In fact the sooner you get rid of that relationship the better. Although it would be quite difficult in the beginning but later you will be happy that you broke it. Abusive relationships are a risk that you are better of not taking.

Falling in love and experiencing love is the most enriching thing in life. In fact it is said that, “it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all”. So do fall in love, don’t just sacrifice the experience of falling in love to stay risk free. Think about the good and happy relationships you know. Don’t listen to stories of emotional abuses, most people who are in such a relationship, choose that path consciously. Please remember that though you may not find many happy couples around you but those who are happy got there because they took risk.

One more risk that is associated with falling in love is that you may not be able to give 100% to your job. This is particularly true if you are involved in an office romance. To speak the language of profit and loss, try to analyze, whether the benefits of such a relationship are more or the loss is more. Is it likely to develop into something good or will it end up as a casual fling. Avoid constantly being together in the office. Keep the contact level professional. Largely depending on the way you behave at work you may earn the respect of your co-workers or you may get entangled in office gossip.

Another important point to consider is whether your partner is approved by your family and friends. If the person is not approved by your near and dear ones you might end up feeling alienated. If your families have a history that is similar to that of the Montagues and the Capulets then it is better that you think twice before involving yourself. Another point that you should take into account is whether you or your partner have children from previous relationships. If you consider all these factors into account then there is no reason why your love should not give you as much happiness as possible.