Forgiveness?
Forgiveness?
This is easier said than done, and it will not happen overnight. However, it should be a goal to work on if you really want to make it work. The alternative is to stay in a relationship in which you have perpetual feelings of anger and bitterness toward your partner, not to mention the constant mistrust.
That is not good for either of you. If you have a religious or supportive affiliation, consider talking to someone or get counseling, this is something where you really need a mediator. The truth is that whether you stay in the relationship or not, you need to forgive, and that might mean forgiving yourself as there is often the feeling of blame or guilt, what did I do wrong? That is human nature, why do we have to beat the heck out of ourselves even when it was not us. Failing to do so will only hurt yourself as you have to live with the never ending pain and bitterness.
Staying in a relationship and moving to forgiveness is indeed not easy. I have enormous respect for people who manage to do this. One way of starting out fresh again is to have a vow renewal ceremony. Expressing your love and commitment in front of others and having a celebration gives you a happy memory to look back on—a reminder of the strength of your marriage and of how, despite a major obstacle, you decided to renew your vows. Of course taking such a step must follow a process of soul searching, talking, and healing. Each party needs to be rigorously honest about how she or he feels about continuing to be in the relationship; and whether he or she can be a loving partner.