How To Put Sizzle in your Sex Life
By
How to Put Some Sizzle in Your Sex Life
Sizzling Sex Life
Maybe you’ve been in this relationship awhile and things have slowed down a bit. You find yourself wondering if you’re still attractive to him. Or maybe he’s wondering if he’s doing something wrong because you just don’t respond the way you used to. Maybe sex is what you do if the kids are asleep and you’re not too tired, and the stress and pressure of the day hasn’t gotten to you. If everything else is humming along alright, you probably don’t need a Marriage Counselor. You don’t need a new lover. It’s just time to “kick it up a notch”.
What people in successful marriages know is that intimacy is about so much more than just sex. And foreplay is best when it is not confined to the first few minutes of lovemaking. A great way to establish that sense of closeness that helps turn ordinary lovemaking into an extraordinary experience is to give each other a sensual massage.
Start by finding a comfortable spot. You can use the bed or a mat on the floor. Light the room softly with candles to enhance the mood. Try Ember Natural Emollient Massage Candles. These candles are scented with aphrodisiacs to add to your experience.
Agree ahead of time how long you will massage each other. Twenty minutes is about right. If you can, agree not to talk, but to communicate through moans and other means of non-verbal communication. Use a nice massage oil to help your hands glide on your partner’s body, without using so much that it becomes slippery.
As you massage your lover, make sure to touch their whole body. Touch releases positive chemicals and hormones that make you and your partner crave each other. It releases estrogen and testosterone, enhancing your responses and getting you aroused, preparing you for a great experience.
For tips on giving a great massage, click here.
Link to this page
Twelve Tips for a Great Massage
1. Agree ahead of time to each give and get a massage for about 20 minutes.
2. Turn off the lights. Burn softly scented candles instead.
3. Play calming music with a long play time. You don’t want the music to run out in the middle of things.
4. Turn off the phone. Leave your cell phone in another room. No computer or TV in the background. Send the kids to Grandma’s.
5. Use skin- friendly massage oil. Seems like a no-brainer, but not all oils are created equal. ( Jimmyjane makes a great one. see blog on “How to Put Some Sizzle in Your Sex Life” on this site.)
6. If you use scented oil, make sure you both like the scent. When in doubt, skip the scent. While a little patchouli behind the ears can be lovely, a whole body massage with it can be overbearing…
7. Make sure your hands, the room, and the oil are comfortably warm. You can put some oil in your hands and rub them together to warm room temperature oil. Or, put the tube/bottle in a bowl of warm water to sit for a while. Please do not heat oil on the stove or in your microwave!
8. Use enough oil to help your hands glide on your partner’s skin, but not so much that they will be slippery or greasy. If he has a hairy chest, use a little more so you won’t pull his hair.
9. Remember that massage is not for the spine. You can cause injuries by pushing too hard or using “chops” up and down your partner’s spine. Massaging the other parts is much more fun, anyway.
10. Massage your partner’s whole body. It feels delicious to have someone nurture every part of you, from your face right down to each individual finger and toe. Work with your fingertips, your full hand or whatever seems best for the area you are massaging.
11. Be focused and attentive to your partner’s reactions. If they seem to really like something, do more of that. If it causes pain or discomfort, stop and move to a different area.
12. Don’t sweat the small stuff!
While massage can be used purely for pleasure in and of itself, it also helps release hormones that make you want to be close to your partner, to crave their touch, and to enhance lovemaking. As wonderful as massage is, it can be a great preview of coming attractions…
One practical aspect of sexual intimacy is physical fitness. Aerobic activities, such as running and cycling, are important for increasing blood flow, stamina, and overall feelings of wellbeing. Often overlooked are the pelvic floor muscles which can become weakened over the years. Both men and women can do Kegel exercises to improve orgasms and ejaculatory control—they are also useful for preventing urinary incontinence and preparing for childbirth. There are many excellent online guides for doing Kegel exercises. These exercises–which involve contracting and relaxing pelvic floor muscles– are very simple to do discreetly while you are sitting at a desk, driving a car, or doing some other routine activity.
I had never heard of Massage Oil Candles before I read your blog. They sound delightful. The Ember Natural Emollient Massage Oil Candles are made of nourishing and soothing ingredients such as jojoba oil, Shea butter, Vitamin E and aloe. They are scented with aphrodisiac oils that you enjoy as you burn the candle and when you give a sensual massage. That’s the interesting part—you can put the candle out and use the warm aromatic oil for your massage. As an option, some candles come with a brush that you dip into the oil and then use to “paint” your partner.
Massage is one of the ways you can really connect; it is romantic, intimate and a caring way to share.
Buy a foot massage kit with a foot soak, scrub and massage cream and have a home pedicure.
This is something you can do any evening, this is something my husband and I have always enjoyed and it is something you can do with the kids around.
Children need to see love shared in a healthy way like this and they can share in a family foot massage. remember kids learn form what you do, so healthy love and care giving will be something they will carry into their relationships.
And of course if it is date night, when the kids are out, you never know where this will lead. Either way, only good will come of it with the benefits of a loving realtionship.
Marriage versus date sex………
Some will argue the best sex they have ever had is when they are single and dating, while others will say that marriage brings more security in the relationship and makes for a more satisfying love life.
That really is an individual opinion.
When you are dating there is often not the pressures of children financial responsibility and everyday stresses,it seems all fun and games and you can’t wait to get enough of each other, one the other hand if your are “into” you’re date and you are not sure about the others feelings you can be worried about the level of commitment and how far do you want to go. Along with that we are not sure of this person, especially in a new relationship, we may have very different levels of sex drive and are unsure of each other boundaries which can hold us back.
Marriage (and when I say marriage, I am talking about people who are living together in a committed relationship) on the other hand may bring more security, where we have become accustomed to each others boundaries, likes and dislikes, but on the the flip side you have to make the time for each other as there maybe heavier responsibilities to worry about and for some their sex life can suffer.
Either way there are the pros and cons and making sure you have the time for each other and discussing your concerns are number one.
All too often people put intimacy on the back burner of the marriage but it is the attraction and intimacy that brought many together and once that has gone or is failing, the insecurity can start to creep in. Does she still love me?, does he even notice me anymore?
Make it a priority, yes, easier said than done but the relationship is worth it, when the kids are gone and it happens quickly there is just you two left. And you have to always be in practice for “you two” or you will be living with a room mate and may not quite know where to pick up the pieces again.
Keep time for each other, a kiss before leaving for work and returning home, a kiss before bed, a pat on the butt,holding hands, even the little things count. And so healthy whether you have kids or not, kids should see two loving people and know it is a natural thing to show affection.
And keep the hot stuff for when the kids are out for a sleep over.
And if you are young and single and wild, have fun, but remember there are consequences to our actions, don’t do anything you might regret later if and when you settle down. You never know when you’ll show up on Facebook.
Live, Love and have great sex
Well here is my tip to make your sex life sizzling! Taking a bubble bath together with scented candles is a good way to spend time together completely alone. The lights in the bathroom should be dim and go for washing each other slowly. With scented body oil or lotion, massage gently into the intimate places of arousal. Try to spend an intimate evening together without any one’s presence. Drink a glass of wine. Put on some romantic music and dance together while you kiss and caress each other. Do not keep anything in mind and just live in the moment. You can also plan out a night together and go for a drive in the theater. Try to make out like teenagers (but don’t get caught!). Trust me a little childishness is fun at times. So add that fun element to your life and see your sex life sparkle.
You may feel like having sex but your body might not respond to your urge! Are you facing something similar? Well you are not alone as there are many women like you who do not feel sexy at all. Like you they are often down with their bodies. Remember health and energy of sex is directly related with a healthy and energized you. If you want to look and feel sexy again you will have to lead an active lifestyle, have balanced diet and renew self confidence. There are also some foods which you are required to eat to get an extra boost that you require. Keen to know more? Well let me give you some tips! Maca is one food which can enhance your sexual health and stamina. This food is excellent for balancing hormones. Cacao contains natural stimulants along with magnesium which is good for heart and libido of women. Cardamom, the exotic little spice acts as an aphrodisiac. This spice is high in cineole and it helps in stimulating the nervous system. If you take these foods, your sexual energy is surely likely to reach its peak.
I’ve been enjoying the discussion on how to put sizzle into your sex life. I’d like to add that a quick self massage before or even after a shower increases the softness of your skin and makes you feel more relaxed and sensual.
I prefer to rub the oil on before a shower and then rinse it off, to avoid getting oil on my clothing—you’d be surprised how this method makes skin feel sleek and smooth. Add an essential oil and the experience may be even more pleasurable—different scents have different effects such as calming, energizing, or erotic. If you will be seeing a lover that day, keep their tastes in mind.
You can purchase high quality scented oils or purchase an organic, cold-pressed oil such as sesame or almond at a health food store—and add a few drops of essential oil, according to your mood.