For Loving Couples

What a Woman Wants………….
Communication
We have all heard the jokes about the nagging wife. And, many men and the kid complain about Mom being a nag. Nagging is not usually the desired result, yes there are a few people that nag by nature but being heard, having a communication about the issue is what she is asking for and when that does not happen, it sounds like nagging but it is a call for help. Here are a few tips to get to stop what you may call “nagging”, (of which I really dislike that word) and take the time to communicate for a win-win situation.
Listen to Her Needs and Contribute to what she is asking for, they are usually very simple reuirements.
Don’t block her out block her out as much as possible,  this is the worst thing you can do. Chances are she feels like you aren’t listening to her – and has felt that way for a long time. In her mind, what you view as nagging is her way of trying to get you to understand her. She might not be going about it in the best way, but she’s making an attempt to talk and is tired of saying the same old thing. Really listen to her see if there is a way to solve the problem. For example, if she is complaining because you are walking on the carpet with your shoes on, perhaps she has a legitimate complaint – unless you are the one who cleans up the resulting mess.
Talk to Her
If you have stopped to listen to your partner, you should be able to express your thoughts and opinions on the matter. Wait for a moment when she is not so frustrated, then approach her about the subject and explain to her, in a kind way, your point of view. If possible, make a suggestion or two about how you can help solve the problem. For example, if she has been nagging you about the sink that is clogged, tell her, “I know the sink has been really bothering you, but I hope you can be patient. I’ve been looking for the part I need to fix it. I should have it done soon.” But if you make the promise to do so then do it. We have all heard of the “honey do list” I am sure. It is a good reminder for you and when she sees you are making an effort it will go in your favour.
If she’s being unreasonable, it’s ok to tell her that, too – just be sensitive about it. For example, if she has been nagging you about getting your hair cut, tell her “I know you like it better when I get my hair cut short, but I really like it when it is a little bit longer. I would appreciate it if you would allow me to wear my hair the way I like it best.” Compromise is a big step, ignoring an issue turns to a big problem, as what you may see as something so small, will build for your partner in to a mass of problems and which adds up to a big deal and can begin to cause a rift that is unnecessary.
Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say
After listening to her and talking to her, be sure to follow through with what you have said. Never agree to something just to appease the situation as it will grow, like a fungus. Maybe something’s are unreasonable but all the little things add to a lot and can be overwhelming on top of other duties she has to do.
This is also where personality differences show up, while one needs order the other does not care about those issues. So be sensitive of each other’s needs and there has to be some give and take. And sometimes you have to have a messy space, for example is your are a paper junkie and it seems to collect all around you , find a place that is yours just for that, preferably with a closed door so you partner does not have to see the constant messy reminder.
When dealing with a nagging partner, it’s important to realize that this is her way of trying to talk to you. Don’t blow her off. Instead, validate her feelings and work on resolving the underlying issue. You will both be much happier in the long run.
We all have our quirks that drive each other crazy but and of course this goes for both sides some women are just as messy, if not more than men, learn to help each other out and remember that our personality styles, have different priorities and we notice different things. Personality type it is a big topic and we will be covering this a little later. It is a fascinating and favourite subject of mine and open up a whole new world of understanding.

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